Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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