The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
