i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
