What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
