Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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