There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
