i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
