508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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