Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wish there were birth control emojis
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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