I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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