fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My hand turned me down
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
high people should be assigned attendants
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
