I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize