You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
is wine microwaveable?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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