Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
