Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
