Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We were destined to go to rehab together
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
