careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
