its not stalking. its research.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
