Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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