how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
