is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize