his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
