i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
