I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
