My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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