omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
