You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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