Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
