did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
