We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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