Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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