Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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