That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
