can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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