I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Congratulations! We have a period
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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