he shaved USA in his pubs
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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