Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
