i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize