he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
