its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
