East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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