just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
