i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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