dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
