Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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