Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I intend to get homeless drunk
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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