do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
