Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i think my cat just said my name.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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