I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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