Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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