goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
