I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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