I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
