it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
