dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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