Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
soo... how was my night?
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