one two three fourrrrnication!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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