Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
