I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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